Hey guys! I wanted to share a bit of a personal story with you all today – the story of an album I poured my heart and soul into, only for it to remain unfinished and ultimately, cancelled. It’s a bittersweet tale, filled with creative highs, crushing lows, and valuable lessons learned. This is the story of "Onward,"
The Genesis of "Onward"
In the beginning, the initial spark for "Onward" ignited during a period of intense personal growth and self-discovery. I was grappling with a lot of changes in my life, both good and bad, and as always, I turned to music as my outlet. Songwriting became my sanctuary, a place where I could process my emotions, explore my thoughts, and ultimately, find my way forward. The album's core concept revolved around the theme of progressing through challenges, embracing change, and the unwavering belief in a brighter future – hence the title, "Onward."
The sonic landscape I envisioned for "Onward" was a blend of genres that represented my diverse musical influences. I wanted to create something that was both familiar and fresh, drawing inspiration from alternative rock's raw energy, the introspective melodies of indie folk, and the soaring arrangements of orchestral pop. I imagined a soundscape that was dynamic and cinematic, capable of capturing the emotional rollercoaster of personal growth. I spent countless hours experimenting with different sounds, textures, and arrangements, trying to find the perfect balance between these various elements. The creative process was exhilarating, each new idea sparking a flurry of inspiration and pushing me further down the rabbit hole of sonic exploration. I envisioned layered guitars, driving rhythms, and soaring vocal harmonies that would create a tapestry of sound. I wanted each song to be a journey, taking the listener through a range of emotions and experiences. It was ambitious, yes, but I was fueled by passion and the unwavering belief that I was onto something special.
The Initial Tracks and Creative Burst
The first few tracks that I wrote for "Onward" came together quickly and organically. It felt like the songs were writing themselves, pouring out of me in a burst of creative energy. Each song explored a different facet of the album's central theme, from the raw vulnerability of acknowledging personal struggles to the defiant optimism of embracing change. Lyrically, I delved deeper than I ever had before, opening up about my fears, my hopes, and my dreams. I wanted to create songs that resonated with listeners on a personal level, offering them solace, inspiration, and a sense of connection. Musically, these early tracks laid the foundation for the album's sonic identity, blending introspective melodies with dynamic arrangements. There was a sense of urgency and passion in these songs, reflecting the intensity of the emotions that fueled their creation. I remember feeling an incredible sense of excitement and momentum as the album began to take shape. I could almost see the finished product in my mind's eye, a cohesive and powerful collection of songs that would resonate with listeners.
The Challenges Begin to Surface
As the project progressed, the road became significantly rockier. What started as an exciting journey began to feel more like an uphill battle. This is often the case in creative endeavors, but at the time, I felt incredibly frustrated. The initial burst of inspiration started to wane, replaced by self-doubt and creative block. Songwriting, which had once been my sanctuary, began to feel like a chore. The ideas that had flowed so freely now seemed to be dammed up, leaving me staring at a blank page with a growing sense of despair. I tried everything I could think of to break through the block – changing my environment, trying new writing techniques, even forcing myself to write even when I didn't feel inspired. But nothing seemed to work. The more I struggled, the more frustrated I became, and the more the creative block tightened its grip. It was a vicious cycle that left me feeling drained, discouraged, and increasingly doubtful about the album's future.
Creative Block and Self-Doubt
Creative block is a cruel beast, guys. It can strike at any time, turning your passion into a frustrating obstacle. I found myself wrestling with self-doubt, questioning my abilities and the quality of the songs I had already written. Was this album really as good as I thought it was? Were my lyrics meaningful enough? Was I even capable of pulling this off? These questions swirled in my mind, fueling my anxiety and making it even harder to write. I started comparing myself to other artists, focusing on their successes and my perceived failures. This only compounded my feelings of inadequacy and made me even more hesitant to share my work. The fear of failure loomed large, threatening to derail the entire project. I began to question my musical direction, wondering if I was on the right track. Should I change my sound? Should I try a different approach? The more I questioned myself, the more confused I became, and the further I drifted from the initial vision for the album. It felt like I was lost in a maze, with no clear path forward. I considered abandoning the project altogether, convinced that I was simply not good enough to see it through.
External Pressures and Life Changes
Beyond the internal struggles, external pressures also began to mount. Life, as it often does, threw a few curveballs my way. Work demands increased, personal relationships went through rocky patches, and unexpected responsibilities piled up. All of this chipped away at the time and energy I had available to dedicate to the album. The delicate balance between my creative pursuits and my daily life became increasingly precarious. It was hard to find the mental space to write when I was constantly juggling other commitments. The studio sessions became less frequent, and the momentum I had built up began to dissipate. I started feeling overwhelmed and burnt out, questioning whether I could realistically balance everything on my plate. The pressure to succeed was immense, and I felt like I was constantly falling short. I started neglecting my own well-being, sacrificing sleep and self-care in an attempt to keep everything afloat. This only exacerbated the situation, leaving me feeling even more stressed and drained. It became clear that something had to give, and unfortunately, the album was the first thing to suffer.
The Difficult Decision to Cancel
Eventually, I had to face the harsh reality: I couldn't continue with "Onward" in its current form. The decision to cancel the album was incredibly painful. It felt like I was giving up on a dream, abandoning a piece of myself that I had poured so much into. I wrestled with the decision for weeks, hoping for a miraculous turnaround, but deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do. The project had become a source of stress and anxiety, rather than the creative outlet it was meant to be. I was no longer enjoying the process, and the music was suffering as a result. I realized that I needed to step back, reassess my priorities, and focus on my well-being. It was a difficult but necessary choice, one that ultimately allowed me to move forward in a healthier and more sustainable way. I knew that I would always cherish the memories of the creative spark that had ignited "Onward," but it was time to let go and embrace the future.
Coming to Terms with Unfinished Work
Letting go of unfinished work is never easy, especially when it's something you're deeply passionate about. I had invested so much time, energy, and emotion into "Onward" that it felt like a part of me. There was a sense of grief and disappointment that lingered for a while after I made the decision to cancel. I questioned whether I had failed, whether I had given up too easily. It took time for me to process these feelings and to come to terms with the reality of the situation. I started journaling and talking to friends and family about my experience. This helped me to gain perspective and to realize that it was okay to let go of things that were no longer serving me. I also started focusing on the positive aspects of the experience, the things I had learned, and the creative growth I had achieved. Gradually, the sense of disappointment began to fade, replaced by a sense of acceptance and a renewed sense of hope.
Lessons Learned and Moving Forward
Despite the disappointment, the experience of working on "Onward" was invaluable. I learned so much about myself as an artist, a songwriter, and a person. I discovered my creative strengths and weaknesses, and I gained a deeper understanding of the challenges and rewards of the creative process. I also learned the importance of setting realistic goals, managing my time effectively, and prioritizing my well-being. Most importantly, I learned that it's okay to let go of things that are no longer serving me, even if it's something I'm deeply passionate about. This lesson has been invaluable in other areas of my life, helping me to make tough decisions and to move forward with greater clarity and confidence.
The "Onward" experience also taught me the importance of perseverance and resilience. Even though the album was never finished, the journey itself was a valuable learning experience. I realized that failure is not the opposite of success; it's a stepping stone towards it. Every setback provides an opportunity for growth and learning, and it's important to embrace these challenges rather than shy away from them. I'm grateful for the lessons I learned from "Onward," and I know that they will continue to shape my creative journey in the years to come. I'm excited to see what the future holds, and I'm confident that I will create something even better in the future.
The Future of the "Onward" Material
So, what about the songs themselves? While "Onward" as a complete album may never see the light of day, I haven't entirely abandoned the material. I believe some of the songs still have potential, and I'm considering revisiting them in the future. Perhaps they'll find a new life in a different project, or maybe they'll simply remain as a reminder of this chapter in my creative journey.
Re-evaluating and Re-imagining the Songs
The cool thing about music is that it's fluid and ever-evolving. Songs can take on new meanings and resonate in different ways depending on the context and the perspective of the listener. I'm excited about the possibility of re-evaluating the "Onward" material with fresh ears and seeing where it leads me. Maybe I'll strip the songs down to their bare bones and rebuild them from the ground up. Maybe I'll experiment with new arrangements, different instrumentation, or even a completely different genre. The possibilities are endless, and that's what makes the creative process so exciting.
Potential for Future Release (Maybe!)
I'm not making any promises, but there's a chance that some of these songs could eventually be released in some form or another. Perhaps I'll include them in a future EP or album, or maybe I'll release them as standalone singles. It really depends on how the re-evaluation process goes and whether I feel like the songs are strong enough to stand on their own. I want to make sure that anything I release is of the highest quality and that it truly represents my artistic vision. So, for now, the future of the "Onward" material remains uncertain. But one thing is for sure: I haven't forgotten about these songs, and I'm excited to see what the future holds for them.
This whole experience, guys, really underscores the unpredictable nature of the creative process. It's not always a straight line from inspiration to finished product. Sometimes, projects take unexpected turns, and sometimes, they simply don't come to fruition. But that's okay. The important thing is to keep creating, keep learning, and keep moving onward. Thanks for listening to my story!